So many of us have been through tough times, actually all of us. It could have been a financial problem, a tough dilemma or even misunderstandings in relationships. These are the many times we look at life and see no meaning in it. It is at such times that we start seeing ourselves as worthless, stupid or silly.
Here lies the big question. Do these pessimistic statements and words have any impact on us or are they just words that are said and forgotten? If they do have impacts, do these impacts just last a short span or can continue impacting us for longer or even become a chronic and lead to a long-term feeling of worthlessness and depression? This article is prepared and tuned specifically to answer these questions and many others.
I remember it more than clearly. It was on this Sunday evening when Chris paid me an unexpected visit in my campus hostel. This was a tiny room shared by four people. He looked exhausted, confused and depressed at the same time. His hair was unkempt and judging from the expressions on his face, he was experiencing a very hard time.
“Good morning bro,” he greeted me while putting on a fake smile.
“Good morning my brother. It’s been a very long time without our meeting. You don’t look like you are ok. What’s up?”
While looking down, “come on it’s been only two weeks,” he replied.
“Two weeks is a very long time for two brothers who are so much attached to each other as we are attached to each other. Anyway, I guess you don’t mind letting me know the reason behind that long face.”
“Well, I don’t mind sharing with you bro.”
“Sure, go ahead,” I told him.
“I have grown up depending on my parent’s provision, support, and encouragement. I have been used to waking up every morning and meeting that broad smile on my mom’s face, and that sweet morning greeting that daddy always gave me. In their hands, I have always felt secure and loved…”
“…then three years ago while I was in my first year of study in this University, both of my parents got involved in a fatal road accident while they were on their way back home from Nairobi. They both died.” He began to shed tears.
“Since then I have had hard times. The encouragement I used to receive daily was all gone. The provision was gone too. I was left to struggle and make my way through a wilderness that I have never familiarized myself with. The positive energy and motivation that I had begun to die out. I began to feel useless and of no worth. The positivity in me was replaced with negativity,” he continued, “As a result of the negativity that took me over that time, I have managed to go through my studies with so much difficulty and struggle. That feeling of worthlessness has always been coming back to me and leaving me discouraged.”
“Anyway, what would make a worthless person work hard in academics? Of what benefits are they going to be in the first place? Are they not just good for nothing as the person himself or herself? In this life I find no sense, I see no reason for being alive in fact,”
Chris continued pouring himself out,” I won’t hide anything from you. This negativity has cost me a lot. I’m going to retake my fourth year of study. I failed the examination because I had no morale even to read and prepare for the exam. I always felt like I’m worthless and there is no need to me stressing myself up with these heavy medical books and finally amount to nothing.”
I had to interrupt,” You have been a believer, a strong Christian, born of the water, spirit and the blood. You have always stood strong to defend this faith. What then makes you not believe even in the scriptures that even unbelievers agree with? Has God Himself not said that as a man thinketh so is he?”
“Bro, you are not worthless. God has never and will never make a worthless being. He has never made mistakes in His work and neither is He even about to. He only allows such circumstances to occur to us so as to prepare us for the great mission He has for each of us. We are the clay, He is the potter; we are all the work of His hand (Isaiah 64:8) His will and plan are perfect. So, our part is just to remain focused on Him and to keep seeking Him in prayer. Above all, we have to remain positive and optimistic that He is preparing something greater for us.”
My words seemed to make him regain his sense of thinking. For once I saw a smile reappear on his face. We had a long talk, prepared dinner and ate together. On that same night, Chris regained morale to continue pursuing his lifetime dreams with a rejuvenated positive energy.
I met him early this year and he was very happy, with a family and enjoying the fruits of optimism and positivity in life. He is currently running a hospital of his own, and making good money! He never forgets to thank me for enlightening him when he was taken over by negativity.